The Café at the End of the Universe

Quest giver: Jammingway
Location: Ultima Thule (X:25.4, Y:26.3)
Quest line: Omicron Main Quests
Level: 80

Required items: 3   Wild Liverwort
3   Prime Alien Onion
1   Soggy Alien Kelp
Requirements: Disciple of the Land
Experience: 2,244,000
Gil: 1,415
Previous quest: Where No Loporrit Has Gone Before
Next quest: Longing So for All the Fish
Patch: 6.25
Links: EDB GT

“

Last Dregs managers Jammingway and N-7000 have much to tell you...

※The difficulty of this quest will be synced to your current level.

— In-game description

Rewards

Unlocks

Steps

Speak with N-7000.
Traverse the portal to the newborn star.
Speak with Jammingway.
(MIN) Mine wild liverwort near Reah Tahra. 0/3
- Deliver the wild liverwort to N-7000. 3/3
(BTN) Gather prime alien onion near Reah Tahra. 0/3
- Deliver the prime alien onion to N-7000. 3/3
(FSH) Catch a soggy alien kelp at the wellspring of regret. 0/1
- Deliver the soggy alien kelp to N-7000. 1/1
Speak with N-7000.
Speak with N-7000 in Elysion.
Speak with N-7000 in A-4 Research.

Journal

Last Dregs managers Jammingway and N-7000 have much to tell you...
- ※The difficulty of this quest will be synced to your current level.

You speak to Jammingway, who has good news, bad news, and news of an as-yet-undetermined nature. The good news is that Stigma-4 has managed to fully reconstruct members of the Karellian civilization based on data obtained from the Dead Ends; the bad news is that it chose two Karellians of opposing factions, who are now poised to kill each other before they have even had their coffee. After some cajoling, Jammingway manages to corral them to a table─but there is no time to solve their civilization-ending disagreement just yet. First, you must investigate a new star that mysteriously appeared in the expanse of Ultima Thule in recent days, and see if it poses a threat to the continued operation of the Last Dregs.
- ※Please note that the difficulty of this quest has been synced to your current level. Furthermore, you may not proceed with a class or job that is different from when you accepted this quest.

Prompted by N-7000, you proceed to Base Omicron, where Stigma-4 has helpfully established a facility from which the newborn star might be studied. This station─designated A-4 Research─will enable you to journey to the star itself via teleportation processes that remain beyond your understanding.

Though N-7000 is able to complete a quick scan of the new star and determine that it is, indeed, entirely unknown and yet untouched, your exploration is soon interrupted by an emergency transmission from Stigma-4. Tensions have erupted at the Last Dregs over the serving of food unsuitable to Karellian tastes, and manager intervention is required. Jammingway is uncertain of what cuisine might be more palatable, but as they nevertheless ponder a future in which café patrons enjoy delicious dishes made with fresh, local ingredients, the area around you is reborn as land ripe for the tilling. Given that the newborn star is entirely composed of dynamis, your allies conclude that in this “Elysion,” pure sentiment can make the impossible, possible.

In the interest of preventing further unnecessary bloodshed, you return to the Last Dregs, though tensions have cooled somewhat by the time you arrive. With a bit of prompting, the Karellian patrons indicate that they would be willing to consume a salad, and thus are you set upon a quest to find palatable vegetation in this dismal land...

By some miracle, the salad that the Last Dregs staff manages to assemble with your provided ingredients proves both aesthetically appealing and satisfying to the Karellian palate, going so far as to prompt the erstwhile adversaries to consider how they may benefit from compromise. At Jammingway's bold suggestion, the pair both agree to set down their weapons and take up the hoe in service of a better future.

You return to Elysion on the heels of the Karellians to find that their optimism has created a blooming garden for them to tend, and even reconstituted others of their kind. With all manner of flora abounding, there is hope that peace and unlimited salad will reign eternal in this place.

At your inquiry, Omicron N-7000 indicates that it is similarly pleased with the impact that the Karellians have had on Elysion. In light of the data provided by recent experience, it asks that you join it in A-4 Research to discuss the future of the Last Dregs.

In A-4 Research, Omicron N-7000 runs a series of mental simulations of the future of the café. It and Jammingway conclude that with the help from the life-forms of civilizations past and a great deal of dynamis, the Last Dregs' potential to please its patrons and bring joy to the sea of stars is endless.

Dialogue

Acceptance

Jammingway:
* Welcome [Forename], to the Last Dregs!
* At long last, we're open for business! And that's not all...

N-7000:
* This unit recommends you allow the squeaky life-form to elaborate. Please be advised that this recommendation does not extend to other conversations.

Jammingway:
* For one thing, we've cleaned the place up since your last visit. That counter is clean enough to eat off of!
* We've also recruited additional Omicrons to our cause. They have absolutely naught better to do, and are thus stationed here at all hours.
* I fear their lack of customer-service experience may prove an issue, however, so I think it best that our first patrons be similar to the people of Etheirys. You lot have been awfully understanding of our slipups with the moon...

N-7000:
* To fulfill that objective, this unit has taken the liberty of ordering the replication of passably intelligent life-forms based on data recovered from the Dead Ends. These life-forms now exist as tangible simulations, much like this unit itself, allowing them to enjoy café services.
* If you orient your ocular orbs to my right, you will find Patron-001 and Patron-002, of the Karellian people...

Proud Citizen:
* Prepare to die, traitor. I shall now obliterate your hideous helm, and your belligerent brain with it!
* Ideological alignment with the Global Community is the only way to restore peace─that, and the utter annihilation of our enemies!

Defiant Fighter:
* You would say that, mongrel. You have long since ceased to see beyond the leash around your neck. Or perhaps it's that tasteless headwear that's cutting off oxygen to your brain.
* You and your masters know naught of righteousness. The peace you offer is but apathy─self-determination subjugated to the pull of the yoke. Pray that you at last know freedom in death!

Jammingway:
* ...As you can see, it's not going as well as we had hoped.

N-7000:
* <whirr> The data indicates that while the Karellians prospered materially under the Global Community, the antiestablishment Freedom Fighters fought back against its oppressive social conditions, leading to total annihilation of both civilization and star.

Jammingway:
* Um...excuse me! It seems like both of you want the same thing─to put an end to this conflict and live happily ever after.
* ...Also to murder each other, but that didn't turn out so well for you last time. How about you take a seat and talk this over?
* I suppose this will have to do for the time being.
* For, you see, I have something even more important to show you. With me!
* Can you see it? Here, at the end of the universe, a new star has been born!

N-7000:
* Furthermore, readings confirm that this unidentified star is composed of dynamis.

Jammingway:
* With the Endsinger gone, Ultima Thule should no longer be doomed to despair. Yet what kind of star─what civilization!─could have arisen out of the dynamis of this place, I shudder to think.

N-7000:
* That is precisely why this unit recommends eliminating potential threats immediately. The looming specter of a hostile civilization is not conducive to carrying out current orders to “Live.”

Jammingway:
* Have you learned nothing from the Karellians!? We cannot simply go about annihilating everybody who looks at us askance. Besides, it would be a shame to waste any potential resources the star has to offer─it's not as if we're rolling in tea leaves out here.

N-7000:
* <whirr> This unit finds the eminently killable life-form's outlook to be intolerably naive.

Jammingway:
* I'll show you “eminently killable,” you...weird-looking fork!
* Ahem. Anyway, I propose that─with your help, [Forename]─we first investigate this newborn star. There will be plenty of time for annihilating later, should such measures be called for.

N-7000:
* <whirr> If both eminently killable life-forms insist, you may access the research portal from Base Omicron. This unit will accompany you for your own safety.

At the Portal Entrance

N-7000: 
* Beyond this portal you will find a research area constructed for the purposes of collecting data on the new star. You may proceed─with caution─to the star from there.

Jammingway: 
* Color me impressed! By Stigma-4, that is. It's the one that made all of this. Now, look sharp, Forky!

Portal to the New Star: FTL travel initialized. Calibrating coordinates...

Visiting the New Star

Jammingway: If Ultima Thule is governed by sentiment...does that mean this huge thing came straight from someone's heart?

N-7000: Initializing scan of planet's surface and core...
N-7000: Environmental scans inconsistent with data from previously recorded planets. No signs of civilization detected. This unit can only assume that the star is entirely new.
Jammingway: Unlike anything seen before?
N-7000: <whirr> Emergency alert from the Last Dregs.
N-7000: <beep> <boop> <boop> <beep>...<BWAAAAAA>
N-7000: <thunk> Ahem. This unit will now transmit directly from Stigma-4.

Stigma-4: Emergency alert: Customers designated “Patron-001” and “Patron-002” resisting delivery of sustenance. Weapons have been drawn. Please advise.

Jammingway: "Resisting“? What in the world did you serve them?

Stigma-4: As proposed by the flea-ridden manager, staff first attempted to provide patrons with locally rendered carrots. These were rejected as “not food.”
Stigma-4: Gordhona oil and Omicron grease were also rejected, despite databases indicating that these substances fulfill 95% of the criteria for designation as “food.” Words unsuitable for transmission also issued forth from patrons at this time.
Stigma-4: The torrent of verbal abuse activated the Gordhona guardian's moderation filters, causing it to set weapons systems to “purge.” All remaining units have withdrawn behind available cover.
Stigma-4: Projections indicate a 99.9783% chance of failure should further arbitration be attempted by current staff. Management support requested.

Jammingway: I sort of...expected this...
Jammingway: After all, artificial carrots just aren't right! Where's the fresh-and-juicy crunch? Where's the slight aftertaste of dirt!?

User Response Choices

Jammingway: I don't know why anyone would bother putting other things in their mouth when there are perfectly good carrots lying about, but very well. I suppose we'll need to concoct some sort of nutritious admixture?
N-7000: Data indicates that cultivation prospects in Ultima Thule are abysmal. To manufacture ingredients would require a dedicated production plant.
Jammingway: Given the fate of our aforementioned carrots, that simply will not do. But what of this new star? Could it not be used to cultivate the fresh culinary ingredients we need?
Jammingway: Ah, I can see it now... Our customers' contentment upon tasting the most delicious and nutritious cuisine they've ever had! The sight should delight me as much as one hundred carrots of happiness, at least.

(Something Happens)

Jammingway: Goodness me!
N-7000: <whirr> Scanning soil... Acidity, moisture content, and temperature within acceptable parameters.
Jammingway: And it's soft under my paws, as if it's simply begging for cultivation.
N-7000: Indeed, analysis indicates that 56.2% of cultivars registered to database during prior conflicts with organic civilizations would be suited to this environment.
Jammingway: Did this star...grant my wish?
Jammingway: I suppose, given the nature of this place, it's not unreasonable to believe that residual energies from Meteion's nest could have coalesced into a new star─nor that said star would be as susceptible to emotion as the rest of the dynamis around here.
N-7000: This theory is excessively convenient, but the data does not contradict it.
Jammingway: Your ability to insult me even when we're in agreement never ceases to amaze. Fortunately for you, I have better things to do than bicker with a bucket of bolts right now.
Jammingway: O magicks of creation, feel the craving deep within my soul, and grant me endless carrots!
(Camera zooms out)

(After several seconds, nothing happens)

N-7000: ...Perhaps gluttony does not qualify as an emotion.
Jammingway: Bugger... Yet my hopes for the café do, apparently.
Jammingway: Unlike my─however sincere─visions of carrots specifically, that intangible hope for a potential future took form as tillable earth. In which case, perhaps the joy of as-yet-unrealized possibility is the key to success here.
Jammingway: Thus shall we call it...
Jammingway: “Elysion”! A joyful land where our hopes may come to rest.
N-7000: The mythology at work here remains alien to this unit, but the overexcited organism's speculation has merit. Dynamis has been demonstrated to make the impossible possible.
N-7000: However, the data also shows that it lends itself as easily to ill as to good. If the beings of Ultima Thule succumb to despair once more, the consequences will be dire─this unit does not even need to run the calculations to be sure.
Jammingway: Oh, boil my carrots! I forgot all about the customers. We must attend to them with all haste, lest they warp the nature of the star!

Back at the Last Dregs

Jammingway: Please, if you would just sit down for a nice, calming cup of tea...

Defiant Fighter: As if I would fall for your ruse a second time! That “food” you served us made me long for the days of chewing a boot in the trenches.
Proud Citizen: Deeply though it pains me, I must agree. That was the least palatable vegetable I have ever eaten, wartime or no. If I die, my blood is on your hands...

Jammingway: Heavens, we can't have that! We wish only to satisfy our customers─to bring them joy so that they may never again fall to despair.
Jammingway: What dishes would bring you joy, if I might ask?

Defiant Fighter: Everything we typically eat, from beans to beef, is manufactured according to specifications that I could not begin to guess at─but I would take anything even approaching normal at this point. Perhaps a salad to cleanse the palate of that horrid oil...

Proud Citizen: ...As long as there are none of those genetically modified logs in it this time.

Jammingway: I see! Two salads with completely organic ingredients, coming right up!

N-7000: How soon your paltry grey matter forgets─there is a dearth of produce in this corner of the universe. Even on the new star, seeds will require time to grow.

Jammingway: Oh, but surely [Forename] can do something about that!

Jammingway: You are a [miner/botanist], are you not? Surely there must be some manner of edible flora around here, inconspicuous though it may be.
Jammingway: And I daresay local ingredients are something of a conversation starter, so that could be the next step toward our patrons resolving their, er...differences. Wouldn't that be lovely?
N-7000: Reluctantly reviewing natural resource database... <ping> Promising nodes located.

Class-based results

(If MINER) N-7000: "Liverworts growing upon stone formations in the Reah Tahra area show acceptable nutrient composition. Based on recent analysis of customer culinary preferences, you may wish to aim for a high wort-to-rock ratio."
(IF BOTANIST) N-7000: "Onions growing in the Reah Tahra area show acceptable nutrient composition. Database indicates they may also provide desired “flavor” to the impending salad."

Jammingway: While you do that, we'll see if we can't scrounge up a few more ingredients from our stores.
Jammingway: Though I still cannot imagine why one would prefer other foodstuffs to carrots, I must admit that I find this culinary experimentation rather invigorating!

Returning with the Items

N-7000: The return of allied life-form [Forename] is most welcome. This unit can only hope that the other organic life-forms will now cease their whining.
N-7000: Quality and quantity of provided ingredients exceed expected parameters.

Jammingway: Yours, maybe. I knew [Forename] would go above and beyond! Now to put these greens to the test...

(Cutscene begins)

Proud Citizen: Needless to say, I fear for my life. But now that you've gone to so much trouble, I suppose we should try it...

(Crunching noises)

Defiant Fighter: An astoundingly robust spectrum of flavor and texture...
Defiant Fighter: I was unaware that food could possess such pleasant complexity. Mass-produced dishes pale in comparison!

Proud Citizen: Watch your tongue! The Global Community solved world hunger through automation, you know. You lot would have scurvy thrice over without it.
Proud Citizen: Still, I must admit that the flavor is unique. Though we replicated a wide variety of cultivars in our factories, just as many were consigned to history. I see now what a loss that was...

Defiant Fighter: There is an appeal to having the freedom to choose what you eat, is there not? Though I recognize the validity of your “world hunger” argument...
Defiant Fighter: Perhaps there is room for both perspectives at this table. As this peculiar waiter observed, our haste to elevate one at the expense of others has not served us well in the past.

Proud Citizen: Odd words to hear from a Freedom Fighter. But not wrong...

Jammingway: That's the spirit! I'm certain you two have plenty in common, if you're willing to hear each other out.
Jammingway: In the meantime, why not help us with the gardening? Release some of that pent-up energy that has you shouting at each other all of the time.
Jammingway: Think about it─it's honest, nonviolent work. And the more you grow, the more new flavors you can experience!
Jammingway: We have a patch of land on a new star that has your names on it! Well, your patron designations, anyway. What do you say?

Proud Citizen: I cannot claim that I'd be happier on the battlefield. I fought in the name of peace until there was naught left to fight, or to fight for...
Proud Citizen: There has to be a better way. Maybe in safeguarding life rather than taking it, I'll find out what that is.

Defiant Fighter: I hesitate to align my ethos with that of a Global Citizen... Yet it is true that we now have the freedom to choose a better future.
Defiant Fighter: Very well. I shall put down my arms, and travel a different path this time around.

Proud Citizen: Then it's a truce! Let us plant those vegetables!

Jammingway: Oooh, I smell hope! It smells like carrots of happiness, if you were wondering. Perhaps Elysion can smell it too...

N-7000: Inconclusive and 80% nonsensical. However, possibilities resulting from this unlikely alliance approach the infinite.

Jammingway: I suppose that means we'll have to go and see for ourselves! Come along, patrons.

Back to the New Star

N-7000: Despite the small yet statistically significant chance of their being greeted by hostiles, the naive life-form has sent Patron-001 and Patron-002 ahead to Elysion. This unit suggests we make haste in confirming what effects, if any, their emotions have wrought on the star.

(Cutscene revealing something)
POP: 
The Karellians' heartfelt hopes for a peaceful future have taken form as respendent gardens!
Nevertheless, much of the newborn star remains as unto a blank canvas. What other hopes will the power of dynamis bring to life?

(Cutscene ends)

N-7000: <whirr> Dynamis-based alterations to the local environment exceed all but the most improbable of projections. Data from prior civilizations indicates that organic customers will be pleased with the vegetation available for consumption.
N-7000: This unit proposes a temporary retreat to A-4 Research to discuss future salads, and salad-adjacent matters.

If spoken to (Elysion, 6.8, 7.6):

Defiant Fighter: As I was considering the myriad possibilities we might sow upon this unmarred land, I was filled with a strange sense of...optimism. Next I knew, there were plants all about!

Proud Citizen: I don't know where it came from, but I'm glad for the sudden appearance of that agriformer. It's a relic of the days before we fully automated food production, but it will make nurturing the plants much easier.

Wrap-up

N-7000: <whirr> All management units are present. This unit will now run multiple cognitive simulations of the Last Dregs' future.
(Quest Complete)

(Cutscene Begins)
N-7000: Analysis complete. Simulations suggest that further consultation with reconstructed life-forms and changes to the nature of Elysion will both be beneficial in increasing future customer satisfaction.
N-7000: Overall, friendly interaction appears key to the success of Last Dregs objectives, which are vital to the ongoing mission to “Live.”

Jammingway: In other words, if we continue to value our patrons, our café will become an ever-greater source of joy!

N-7000: This unit would not make such a fanciful projection, but nevertheless agrees with the general trajectory proposed.
N-7000: The ongoing assistance of allied life-form [forename] will also be invaluable. Will you continue to act as a management unit?
N-7000: Your cooperation is appreciated.
N-7000: In preparation for the next phase of operations, this unit proposes strategically repositioning matrix Stigma-4 to this location, that it may better assist in coordinating planetary and café objectives. Transmission of orders will commence at your signal.

Stigma-4: Retrothrusters on cooldown. Initiating matrix installation.

Jammingway: Speaking of which─we have one more installation to attend to! Hold still,
N-7000...

(Camera Pans Up to reveal something)

Jammingway: Perfect! Now I can tell which Omicron the insults will be coming from. It also signifies your role in this operation quite well, does it not?

N-7000: <whirr> Crude...yet effective. This unit will consent to wearing the large-eared life-form's primitive accessory.

Jammingway: Now, my loyal crew─to work! The possibilities are infinite, so there's much to be done.